I’m wearing too much bronzer
I’m sure you bloody noticed
I’m out on a dog walk
My hair still up in rollers
I got earrings in just to buss a shit
And my clothes hug tight and closest
I have this image of myself
Where I’m pretty and sparkly
Not bloated
No spotty skin, no yellow grin
No teeth that are sugar coated
My eyes are big, my lashes long
My legs not pocked or rubbery
But that picture rips and burns
When you’re touching me
Cos suddenly
I’m only those things I hate about myself
None of the fantasy
I’m scarred arms, I’m only good from far
I’m a melted mess in the bed sheets
And before you’ve even
Managed to make me feel beautiful
My legs meet
But I can’t explain this to you
Can’t bare the eye roll
The spoiling of the evening
Is my fault
Can’t share this
It’s no light load
I’ve just been put into my
Night mode
I’m dark all over
The brain’s infected
Under that curled and hairsprayed barnet
My mind is hectic
Ain’t eaten all day
So under the clothes lay
Rumbling bubbles
Basically, beneath the calm surface
The water’s troubled
But you’ve been so happy today
And you ain’t even showered
Ain’t combed that hair
Or let pit sour
Achieved something
Even if in yesterday’s clobber
A happy mood that’s proper
So how could I let hallucination
Eat that?
But for all your compliments
You’ll never beat that
Just like I pound my skin
In attempts to clear it
Just like I pray for thin
But never get near it
Just like I grow my hair
Hoping it hides my mug
Just like I’ve lost the place
All my confidence dug
The mounds are rising
In the bathroom I’m crying
Hopping on and off the scale
Hoping the weight’s just hiding
Sometimes I feel like I’m flying
Like the room starts spinning
But I can only reach so high
Before I start tipping
And even if I cushion the fall
I get up and start tripping
Some days I leave the sun-kiss
I leave the primping
Some days I see what you mean
And don’t even need hinting
Some days I want you to see me
To take a good gape
But right now, all you’ll see
Is all the things that I hate.
By Lyric Deep.
Lyric Deep™ 