Lessons

When she was treating me terribly

I justified it

Because she loved me


Love is ruination 


It is promising not to leave

Before you pack your bags

And don’t bring your keys


It is saying I’m the bad vibes

When I’ve been dark all week but

Should’ve turn light when she arrived


It is saying I’m not good enough

Because those others

Are better so deserve more love


It is telling her crowd

That I’m fucked in the head

When my head ain’t around


It is when she don’t hold my hand

After months of fingers laced 

Because the things I grasp she can’t stand 


It is the flame from the gaslight

Not from the passion or desire

The strongest fire is when it ain’t right


It is being left for the wolves

On the other end with no speaker

Screaming into voids and empty pools


It is being told I am weak

For the things that bring me comfort

In a body where ease is all it needs


It is revisiting the pyres of my pain

When she knows the edge it gives my smooth

But can’t stop kicking me down memory’s lanes


That’s Love.


But it’s not, is it?


It is when she don’t need to do it

But she does and wants to

Because she sees that we’ve been through it


It is when I am naive and trying

I’m unlearnt and young, then

She gives her wings for my high flying 


It is when I feel my types of ways

And I can turn to her and say

Anything, it’s validated, not scathed


It is when I don’t like the same

But she gets me my opposite

And we feast together without shame


It is when I miss her but keep mute

Then she rings first because 

She knows the patterns of my roots


It is when I feel so at ease, so safe

I sleep and dream my life

Because I am in her space


It is being heard when I tell my truth

Instead of her telling me, she

Gives my identity muscle and thoughts proof


It is her passing to me before the left

Making sure I’m sorted

Without second thought or breath


It is when I’m turning leaf anew

And she buys me my seeds

Because she believes in everything I do


Love is not ruination

Love is rebirth


Love is meant to be overflowing

Unconditional


And I am dying everyday

To love again


By Lyric Deep & FRANK.

(This poem was a collaboration between a dear friend and I – a beautiful process with a beautiful outcome)

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