(Give Me) Nothing, My Lord

I mean I’ll leave you alone if you prefer that

But don’t let me make home on my own

Then start to stir that

Pot like you always do,

When I’m strong and you prefer that

Girl who wobbles in the throttles of your paws as you claw that

Side out of me again and I’m poured flat

Scored fat on the scale of naivety 

And kicked back into being your doormat 

I can’t answer why I’m so soft here,

Why I lose all my swear words and spitting when you’re near

Why I go from steel toe to flip flop, from absinthe to blue beer 

But I do, you know that too, and that’s why you don’t make it clear

Whether you need me or you don’t, whether I’m your front or your rear

So you keep me confused, spin me round until I’m dizzy,

Until I’m fizzy with frustration and busy

Trying to work out our situation

I’m still scared to text you after all these years

Nervous you won’t reply or will but it won’t be what I want to hear

I spose I’m looking for commitment,

For promise and devotion like King Lear 

Wanting my Goneril and Regan

But you’ve only ever been my Cordelia 

Loving me for all your duty allows

Never pushing those boundaries or feeling ta

And I’m feeling like a tragedy today

As I look out the car window and imagine you holding me

Picturing your arms laced round my back, your skin hot on mine

You folding me

Over and under, bending my extremities extremely 

Then I snap back to the fast paced motion of the scenery 

These hallucinations hit me randomly,

I could be eating dinner, in the bath, reading or needing sleep

And they’ll smash in, not carefully or elegantly

Just raw and messy and I love it

When I imagine you loving me

But when we meet up in our blue moons

There’s no spontaneous leg over or passionate pounce

Just twiddled split ends and past lives renounce

There’s no screaming or wailing or shouts

Just whispered catch ups and hidden doubts

I’ll treat you like a sibling, ask how your family is as if they’re my own

I’ll tell you all about my life, separate to yours, of course, and you’ll be told not shown 

And most of all, I promise, afterwards 

I’ll let you leave me alone 

By Lyric Deep.

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